Monday, 27 August 2012

The Best A Man Can Get

Apparently, the best a man can get is a Gillette Razor.
Surely it must be something like a knighthood, or perhaps a Nobel Peace Prize.
Even a Gold Blue Peter badge probably ranks above a razor.
(perhaps I'm being too literal and/or unnecessarily ranting)

The one prime thing that differentiates humans from animals is shaving.  Most of the time I'll use an electric razor to do the job, but once a week (on Sunday, just before my weekly bath), I will have a full, proper wet shave.
But, even though I'm only using the wet razor once a week the blade will eventually go blunt.

I suffer from Tight-Arse Syndrome - have you seen the cost of replacement blades?
Far better to just buy a new razor (often with 2 blades (1 attached, 1 spare)), and these are usually on some sort of special offer/promotion meaning they are sometimes about a third of the cost of a pack of replacement blades.
And now, my bathroom cabinet is home to about 20 or 30 razor handles with no blades on the end.
We now live in a disposable society where replacement with new or often more economic than repair, and because of this I now have the EEC Gillette Razor Handle mountain occupying my bathroom.

But Razors are not the only flotsam cluttering my life.
To enhance my environmental credentials, I have been spurning the plastic bag in favour of cardboard boxes,  usually collected from the fruit aisle on my way past (to be honest, this is probably the only reason I ever visit the fruit aisle).  And so, the eschewing of the plastic carrier bag has caused my garage to become stuffed full of stated fruit boxes.
Why don't I just throw them away?  Firstly, that is probably not the greenest option, and secondly they might come in useful one day (this is, I know, an unlikely occurrence and I should just throw them away).

"Keep that, it might be useful" - this is a phrase I have used for several years, and probably the prime reason why my garage looks like a cross between a shanty town and Steptoe's yard.
Anything that has broken, or has reached the end of it's useful life will, more often than not, be stripped down to its component parts and stored somewhere in the garage and /or shed (and/or anywhere else I happen to leave it (have you seen the junk in my conservatory?)) - you never know, all this junk might come in useful one day (I seriously doubt it).

I now freely admit, all these pile of crap I am never going to find a use for and so I have had a big clear out.  After numerous trips to the Municipal Dump, you can now see the walls and the floor of the garage for the first time in recent memory.

So, at the moment the best a man can get is a garage free from junk, and a slightly tidier mind by association.  The thing is, I've now get all this space available - I wonder what I'm going to do with that?
(Tune in next week for more tales from the Hoarder Files).

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