Monday 3 September 2012


to busy oneself doing stuff in an aimless, but thoroughly a agreeable manner

And that is a summary of my perfect weekend

The one activity, apart from Gardening, that gets in the way is Home Maintenance & DIY.

DIY, or to give it it's full title Do It Yourself, could just as easily be called:
CIUIY (Cock It Up Yourself)
GSETDIT (Get Someone Else To Do It)

Not a great record - household maintenance and me operate in two separate universes.
Theoretically, I know how something needs to be done, what tools are needed, the potential problems & how to solve them and roughly how long it will take to complete.
Practically - well, that is a different story.  Because I know theoretically what needs doing, when it doesn't go right I resort to shouting a lot and hitting the thing with whatever hammer I have in my hand.  And apparently swearing at it is no help whatsoever.

But DIY saves money I hear you cry.
Well, it would do.  Right up to the point where I completely foul up whatever it is I'm doing and have to call in someone else to sort it out (which is what I probably should've done in the first place)

The majority of the bookcases, wardrobes and shelves in my house are from the Scandanavian God Of The Inept DIY Practicioner - Ikea.
To a ham-fisted dullard such as myself, Ikea is a positive boon.  Ignoring the lack of uniqueness, the homogenization of Britains homes, and the general public/media perception and comedy value, Ikea furniture is strong, sturdy and lasts - it is also incredibly easy to put together, and very difficult to make a mistake with the assembly (although I did once build a revolving CD Rack upside down).
But apparently, this doesn't count as DIY unless you are modifying it for your own needs (what? by putting a power shower in  bookcase or something else equally ridiculous?)

This weekends DIY (or the activity which prevented pottering) was to assemble a wardrobe.  This was not a flat pack - those I can handle.  This was a bespoke wardrobe to be assembled from pre-cut lengths of wood.  The job involved building the frame, securing it to the wall, and then cladding it with boards and doors.
The frame went together with some minor modification/re-cutting, and the cladding and doors went on without any real problem.  All in all, quite a successful job.

To soundtrack this task, it seemed to me that Krautrock with its attendant industrial sound, motorik rhythms and jazzy-style noodlings would do the job nicely.
The compilation 'Deutsche Elektronische Musik' was duly selected and provided the necessary accompaniment.
This particular track was playing at the moment of completion when I stood back and watched as the entire structure did NOT fall to the ground.

La Düsseldorf - Rheinita

And now, experimental German music and flat pack furniture will forever be linked in my brain

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