Saturday, 25 June 2011

Grow Your Own

I've only ever grown 2 things in my life.
1. A Beard - it was decidedly patchy with flecks of grey nestled in the dark stubble.  It looked bloody stupid, yet every holiday I am intent on growing my 'Holiday Beard'
2.  A Beer Gut - this is an ongoing project, and is tended to with care each and every weekend

So why have I got an Allotment?
Answer: I haven't.  The Allotment is the property of my wife - which means I have to assist with the care and horticultural activity.
So for nigh on a year I have been digging weeds, raking stones and erecting a fence for what?
I don't even eat vegetables, but I continue to assist for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, she's my wife and helping is part of the marriage deal, and secondly for the gift of Amazon vouchers & chinese food (not that I'm in any way mercenary).

Thing is, I'm always reminded of The Young Ones when they went all 'Good Life':
"We sow the seed, Nature grows the seed, and then we eat the seed"

To paraphrase (is that the right word?) Rick in this clip: What about CDs? What about Beer?  What about Takeaway Curry?  Can we grow any of that?
Sadly not, we don't have the correct seeds apparently

However - in answer to the Beer question, once the Allotment is all clear and established, I'm going to get some Hop plants and grow my own hops.  I will be brewing using my own hops, so it might not all be bad.

The bit I don't get about Allotments, or indeed gardening in general, is why would you want a weekend hobby that leaves you sitting on your sofa on a Sunday night nursing a bad back and feeling more shattered than you were when you finished work on Friday?

In Other News:
40 Pints of IPA have been bottled, and a 40 pint batch of Cider has been prepared.  Should now ferment for 7 days (or so) before bottling.

The musical accompaniment to this task: Sham 69
(I'm not going to write a long, drawn out missive about "Why 'The Adventures Of The Hersham Boys' is the great lost classic album of 1979".  (It is good though))

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