In a Parallel Universe

Ignoring the time factor (which in an alternate reality may be irrelevant anyway), what if actors, comedians, TV Presenters etc were musicians instead.

Windsor Davies Group
Rik Mayall's Bluesbreakers
George Cole & The Commotions
Mr T & The MGs
Huey Edwards & The News
Nick Ross & The Supremes
Ben Fogle Five
Bruce Forsyth & The Range
Frankie Spencer & The Four Seasons
Ian Beale & The Blockheads

Alan Partridge Project
Kathleen Turner Overdrive
The Crazy World Of Arthur Lowe
The Jenny Bond Organisation
Emerson, Lake and Patsy Palmer

Tom Baker & The Heartbreakers

Jack Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich

The Ken Clarke Five
Kirsty Young and Crazy Horse

Bruce Forsyth & The E Street Band

Tom & Jerry & The Pacemakers

The Jimi Krankie Experience

Lead Singer of The Specials - Stuart Hall
Lead Singer of Transvision Vamp - Sid James
Lead Singer of Iron Maiden - David Dickinson
Lead Singer of Muse - David Bellamy
Lead Singer of The Smiths - Neil Morrissey
Lead Singer of Eels - Kenny Everett
Lead Singer of Teardrop Explodes - Julian Clary

Lead Singer Of The Velvet Underground - Oliver Reed

Edit: Some additions have been made since the original posting.  These additional items were "nicked" from suggestions on The Word Magazine blog

Musical Connections

I awoke this morning with Uriah Heep's 'Gypsy' stuck in my head.  As is usual when songs are embedded in the brain when I wake up, the first thing I do (after breakfast of coffee & a cigarette) is to play the CD containing the tune (in this case 'The Very Best Of Uriah Heep').

It was at this point I developed my objective for the days musical back-drop.

All songs listened to MUST be related to the previous, but cannot be by the same band/singer.

Today's musical journey was:

• Uriah Heep - Gypsy (Heeps drummer was Lee Kerslake, leading to:)
• Ozzy Osbourne - I Don't Know (Guitarist on Blizzard Of Ozz was Randy Rhoads, leading to:)
• Quiet Riot - Metal Health (who covered 'Cum On Feel The Noize', leading to:)
• Slade - We'll Bring The House Down (who had 3 singles enter the chart at number 1, leading to:)
• Jam - Man In The Cornershop (Bass Player Bruce Foxton later joined Stiff Little Fingers, leading to:)
• Stiff Little Fingers - Guitar & Drum (The SLF album 'Flags & Emblems' includes the track 'Its A Long Way To Paradise From Here' which has a harmonica track played by Lee Brilleaux, leading to:)
• Dr Feelgood - Roxette

At this point, I stopped creating tenuous connections and just stayed listening to Dr Feelgood - which is a worthwhile way to spend any Saturday afternoon

More fun with Musical Connections: Six Degrees of Black Sabbath

Confusion

The following phrases can lead to some misunderstanding/confusion:

• Flash Photography - News reports announce that the following story contains flash photography.  I wait and watch - all the photography I see looks to be pretty standard.  I son't see any clever techniques or methods being used
• Everyone has a book inside them - Really? Does that mean people go round eating books.  And does that mak a library an All You Can Eat Buffet?
• Humble Beginnings - Many actors, musicians, artists or authors state that they came from Humble Beginnings.  Where is this village?
• Pepsi vs Coke - How can you compete against a company whose advertising slogan is 'The Real Thing'
• Thorpe Park - How much more British can you get.  A visit to Thorpe Park (or any Theme Park) involves an awful lot of queuing.  In general, you will queue for anywhere between 30 minutes and an hour for 90 seconds  of "adrenaline fueled thrills".  You then unhook yourself from the seat and go and stand in another queue.  For me, the best thing about Thorpe Park is the doughnuts
• No such thing as a Free Lunch - Yes there is, I've seen the sign.  It says 'Buy One Get One Free'
• Windsor Davies Group - The world would be a very different place if the welsh actor had been the eponymous member of this 1960s R&B Band.
  Biggest Hits: Keep On Running (Lovely Boy) & Gimme Some Lovin' (Shoulders Back, Show 'em off)

Falling in Love Again

In 1982, a friend of mine played me a song he'd recently taped off the radio.
That song was 'Run To The Hills' by Iron Maiden.
It's fair to say that this changed my whole musical outlook.

Favourite bands at the time were The Jam, Human League and Ultravox - with a side-order of Slade

My appreciation of The Jam remained constant, but was now coupled with an equal fixation for all things Iron Maiden.
Basically I was a Heavy Metal Mod, a combined Mod and Rocker.  In the words of Ringo Starr, I was a Mocker.

The Iron Maiden fixation continued until 1990 and the release of 'No Prayer For The Dying'.  It was still Iron Maiden in all their bombastic pomp and glory, but it just didn't move me in the way they had before.
At this point me and Iron Maiden parted company.  Apart from the purchase of Fear Of The Dark in 1992 (I was going to Monsters Of Rock, Maiden were headlining and they were bound to concentrate on tracks as it was part of the tour in support of the album), no more Maiden product was added to the collection.

Until last week ...

Last Thursday was my birthday, and is is usual for such occasions I was presented with a selection of gift wrapped items.
One of the 5" square parcels contained CD copies of 'Powerslave' (Iron Maidens 1984 album) and 'The Final Frontier', their latest album released in 2010.

Listened to The Final Frontier this morning, and it was like the return of a long lost friend.
The sound and the song construction was familiar, and inspired me to go back and exhume the vinyl copies.  Because of the elapsed time since last listening, it all sounded fresh & new (in spite of the fact I could still remember all the words to the songs).  Even 'No Prayer For The Dying' (the album which caused the split) was an enjoyable listen.  It contains the single 'Holy Smoke' which is currently lodged in my head/ear and will not go away.

The next few Amazon orders are likely to be Iron Maiden-centric, and for the purpose of completeness the Blaze Bayley-years will be included

Regional Accents

Regional accents dictate different pronunciations
For example:

glass and glass

grass and grass

raspberrry and raspberrry

tomato and tomato

potato and potato

Have noticed recently that more newreaders are applying 'local pronunciation' to place names.

Best example is Newcastle being spoken as Newcastle.

This also applies to international names - Afghanistan has been pronounced as Afghanistan

(Hang on? This doen't work when written down)

Vehicle Registration Plates

The '11' vehicle plates offer much humour with the potential 'personal' plates that can be had (well, its humourous to me anyway)

Registration       Personal Plate For
RO11 OVA      Dog owners
RO11 TME      Del Amitri fans
BU11 DOG      Beatles Fans
LU11 ABY       Anyone with a new baby
MU11 ETS       Someone who is stuck in the 80s
CA11 GAL       Lady who will visit you for something enjoyable
DO11 ARS       Donald Trump
TA11 EST        Stephen Merchant
BE11 IES          People of a "larger frame"
RO11 MOP      Lovers of pickled herring
WA11 IES        (I can think of a few candidates for this one)
DU11 ARD      (see above)
BE11 END       BMW Drivers

Several years ago, I changed my name to AHW 913V, just so I could have a personalised registration.
I sold the car within 6 months and then had to change my name again.

I read a book once - it was a blue one

Other than books read for exams at school, text books for college or instruction books for stuff (rarely do I read these - blokes don't read Instruction Books), my reading habits were limited to the point of virtual non-existence.

In the last 6 months or so, I have stopped buying a newspaper to read at work everyday and bought, borrowed or found some books to read during my lunchtime, or whenever else I feel like reading something (usually Saturday & Sunday mornings when no other bugger in the house is awake - just me, a book, a cup of coffee and some fags (or cigarettes if you're reading this in the USA of America)).

Buying a stash of new Books every 6 weeks or so is (as my dear wife1 informs me) is getting expensive.
The solution: a visit to the Charity Shop.

I've just bought 6 new books for the princely sum of £3 - cheap at half the price.  And I've given to charity without being mugged in the Town Centre by a do-gooder with a clipboard wanting my bank details for Direct Debit donations

These books will be consumed (ie read, not eaten) and will either be retained in the 'Library'2 or returned to the charity shop when I next stock up.

Key Points:

1. Books are great - how come its taken me this long to realise?
2. Support your local Charity Shop with both donations and purchases.  It would be a crying shame if the majority of what was in the shop I visited at the weekend were to end up in land-fill.
   "One mans rubbish is another mans Treasure"

PS The Charity Shop also had a stack of Vinyl, CDs & DVDs which warrant future investigation

Notes:
1 Why is she referred to a "my dear wife"? Because she's expensive to maintain (boom boom tish)
2 I say 'Library' - in actual fact it is a series of shelves in various rooms, and the books will be inserted wherever there is a space.  Or (as is often likely) just piled on the floor of my office/den/crap hole of a room)